"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas, only a hippopotamus will do.......there's lots of room for him in our two-car garage, I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him a massage.......no crocodiles or rhinoceroseses.....only a hippopotamus will do!"......those are some of the outrageous lyrics to an old Christmas song that tickle me everytime I hear it, and as the lyrics of another song remind us "It's the most wonderful time of the year!".

In what other profession is it acceptable and actually expected by our customers to be asked: "when was the last time you had a bowel movement?" Oh boy! And not only do we want to know "when" we want to know specifics; color, consistency, and frequency for gosh sakes! Now, we not only ask this on admission, but we keep asking it during the hospitalization!